Thursday 15 April – Howick Little Theatre, Lloyd Elsmore Park, Pakuranga Rd, 12.30pm
Thursday 15 April – Dunsandel Community Hall, Hororata Dunsandel Rd, Christchurch 7pm
Monday 19 April – St Thomas’s Church Hall, Crn St Heliers Bay Rd & Kohimarama Rd, 11am
Monday 19 April – Corban Estate Arts Centre, Opanuku Studio, 426 Great North Road, Henderson, Waitakere City, 7.30pm
Monday 3 May – Mellow Manor, Hamilton/Cambridge Highway, Tamahere, 7.30pm
For more information call Karen Bridgman on 09 531 5531
Monckton: “Nobody here in Bonn seriously imagines that this or any treaty brokered by a UN, which is still reeling from blows to its credibility from the Climategate scandal and revelations of errors in its reports, will ever make any difference to the climate that could be measured even by the most sensitive of instruments.”
I’m at the final day of the UN climate talks in Bonn, gracing what the BBC just described as “the most colourful display in NGO alley.” We gave the rather po-faced delegates a good laugh when CFACT’s Christina Wilson sold “carbon indulgences” to all assembled, dressed as Mother Earth, and pardoned us all for our “climate sins.”
Our “carbon indulgences”, on parchment scrolls rolled up and tied with ribbon (Christina was up all night doing that), told delegates that they were “hereby forgiven for flying when you choose; machine-washed clothes; driving your vehicle; using your computer; taking hot showers; exhaling CO2; making things in factories; growing food with tractors; eating meat; watching TV; refrigerating your food; using Edison’s light-bulbs; turning on the AC or heating or both; and, above all, attending international conferences.”
The scroll made it plain that “This indulgence will not meaningfully alter the weather or climate. It is therefore the most honest carbon trading strategy you can find.” The High Representative of Guatemala, a Catholic, said the indulgences were a great idea. They reminded him of his youth, when anyone who ate meat instead of fish on a Friday had to pay a fine into the Church poor-box.
The conference has failed advance the global warming treaty. Delegates have, however, resolved to increase the frequency and intensity of the talks hoping to lock us into the treaty in Mexico this fall.
I’m astonished at how much more open and willing to discuss matters the delegates have grown. When we first arrived we worked hard to seek out the delegates. The entire affair is much easier now that they are approaching us.
Something even more astonishing is that UN staff has decided to handle us with kid gloves. At a briefing yesterday for nongovernmental organizations, two dour campaigners from the “Women and Gender Constiuency” complained about our presence to Executive Secretary Yvo de Boer. De Boer replied that it would be wrong for the UN to discriminate in allocating space based on viewpoint. This is a radical shift from the tone we heard just a few months ago. The reason for this seems clear. The UN climate agency has lost so much credibility in recent months that it is going to great lengths to appear even handed. We have made our presence felt: that’s for sure.
The proposed world-government treaty will be a disaster for the freedom and prosperity we all take too much for granted. We must not let up a moment. We must counter every false climate assertion with cold hard fact. We are well on our way to winning the hearts and minds of the people. We must undertake the more difficult task of ending the climate binge our political class has enjoyed for so long. Enough is enough.
God bless you all,
Monckton of Brenchley
Probably thanks to Climategate and IPCCgate, there has been a breakthrough in Holland in the sense that for the first time climate sceptics have been invited to take part in important climate meetings.
On April 16 there will be a special public meeting, organised by the Dutch parliament, to look into the climate reports by the IPCC. The then-Minister for the Environment (the Cabinet has fallen, new parliamentary elections will be held on June 9), Jacqueline Cramer, expressed anger with the IPCC. She said that she had to rely on the IPCC for her climate policies (she is, like most politicians, a real global warming zealot). She ordered this one-day meeting. At the end of the meeting are two slots of one hour each, during which sceptics can have their say. During the first, for scientists/sceptics, well-known climate sceptics, like Professor Arthur Rörsch, Professor W. Wagenaar (both from Leiden University), Professor Samuel Kroonenberg (professor of geology, Delft University), Dr Henk Tennekes (weel-know to most of you), former Director Research KNMI (the Dutch NIWA equivalent) and Dr Bas van Geel, paleoclimatologist, University of Amsterdam) will be speaking. During the second hour, skeptical science journalists (yes, we have them in Holland) will have their say. Among them Marcel Crok, who received an award some years ago for an article on the Hockey Stick), Martijn van Calmhout (de Volkskrant newspaper) and Rypke Zeilmaker.
“It is difficult to see what, other than cupidity, could lead to any gathering momentum for a climate bill. In point of fact, nothing proposed would have any discernible impact on climate regardless of one’s views on climate science. Rather, the legislation would simply be another mix of payoffs and taxes. Public concern over climate is sinking. The science is increasingly acknowledged as being far from certain and even dubious. Scandals, while being denied, are clearly real. Claims of certainty are being endorsed by professional societies with no expertise (presumably under pressure from the environmental enthusiasts in the White House) while many actual scientists are acknowledging severe problems. The situation is quite a mess, and, I suspect that many politicians sense this. Supporting such legislation gets ever riskier. Atop all this, the developing world is more clearly and vocally identifying carbon control with attempts to stifle desperately needed development — which is to say that the issue is developing a patina of profound immorality”.
(Emphasis added – NZ Royal Society is a case in point. The final sentence presumably relates to US opposition to World Bank funding of the Eskom coal plant in South Africa).
In a joint statement Victoria and Oxford Universities researchers
announced the long overdue confirmation of the heaviest and probably densest
element yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an
atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally
take less than a second to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons
and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium
(symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.
“*Indeed a blinding statement of the completely obvious*” concluded the announcement.
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